Monday, December 15, 2014

Indoc graduate

I can't believe I made it. I've been dreaming of this for a year and I did it. I completed indoc holy crap. I now have to become a Pararescue man. I can't believe I've done this. I'm definitly a new man. God did this. I just am so mind blown now.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Indoc day/week

Indoc schedule

4:00 - wake up and eat
6:00 - leave dorm and go to school house
6:30 - accountability and news of what we do 
7:00 - first exercise , run or functional fitness
Workout till 9
(If it's a Thursday we have alternate watercon and start out with a ruck then grass and gorillas then the pool)
10:00 - fin and swim
11:00 - go eat lunch
13:00 - watercon
(5 underwaters, buddy breathing, mask and snorkel recovery, treading water, underwater knots, equimpment recovery, drown proofing and sometimes equimpment tread.) 
It goes till 3:00
3:00 - classroom/debriefing 
Then they decide what happens or the days can change slightly. Evals are about the same thing. Evals are Mondays practice evals Fridays and random crap the rest. Wednesday can have lake swims Thursdays have alternates which means you do water con in clothing.
Indoc is the same thing over and over. It just gets harder then it ends or you fail.

Sweet disposition

I put this article in here because I think it's so true and good for marriage 
What I got out of it is neither one can say I love the person more or I do more just give your all and communicate on needs like if you have needs or they have needs tell eachother and you'll make it 100-100 because that's the truth there's no other way a marriage should be. 

Now the title of this blog is sweet disposition an amazing song by the timber trap I've always loved and ran to it for a year every morning. I miss those days I woke up at 7 and ran in my
Neighborhood through the cold and had my days scheduled out it was so much fun and so much adventure I never had a bad day. I miss running. I'm not
Lazy I'm too active and these weekends kill me with the boredom. Probably why I had that gay tinder fuck that I don't ever wanna lose Callie. Today I went to the pool used my snorkel and practiced water con. I will make another post on indoc to catch people up on what goes on in my life. So sweet disposition song has so much meaning to my days now it says never give up finish what you started always give your all carpe diem 
I love life there's so much to live for I miss home and late nights and longboarding on the streets I could longboard around here alone I night tomorrow. Anyway I've been having fun. So today I worked on buddy breathing and have our final evals Monday which I need to pass it all and get out of here. Callie and I are about to start premarital sessions of counseling which I think will help us and build us a lot so I'm very excited. Now I'm laying bored and blogging. I'll work on my indoc day blog now.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014


I've had a million broken hearts. I've had pain and misery but nothing compares or ever will to Callie. She's the most amazing women ever and I'll never find or want another women for none will ever compare to her. I have her my all I love her with my all I messed up bad more then once and yes it was a huge mess up. But I love that women more then anything I'll ever love in my life. I wish she knew me I wish I blogged and explained my thoughts and feelings earlier on. I need to keep blogging so I realize how I get to times like these. I love Callie I'll forever want her she made me believe in soulmates and I'll always believe she's my soulmate she kept me so happy Nd made my life amazing. I never thought this day would come I still don't want it and need it but I need to finish this course and I'm dealing with too much. More then the average guy here. Life is tough but it's a new tough when you go through indoc. Anyway I regret what I did I regret losing her ill hate myself for it for the rest of my life and I swear theses no women I'd rather be with or no women if even think is as good or close to her. She's perfect and my eyes and will always be I don't know how things will go this sucks because I wanted to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her. I messed up bad and I'll never do it again. Keep moving on that's all you can do in this life.

Friday, November 28, 2014

Going into my 8th week of the indoc course

Man I haven't freaking blogged in a while. But right now I'm a little worry bug. I've been stressed for so long going through this long course called indoc. God has a plan for my life I don't know what it is but I need to trust him. This week in indoc we have our last eval before our final one. I have to pass two events that I failed on the one before this. If I don't then ill have to retake this course and I really do not want to retake this course. So everyday I need to pray to God and trust in him that he will do wha he wants with my life. Just pass these two events and I will most likely be out of here. I need prayers I need God and I need all my wishes spent on this. This course is very tough and challenges the mind too. I hope to write more blogs again soon and it will be one about how I made it and succeeded through tough and scary times.

Friday, October 31, 2014


Marriage is very important. I can't believe I'm getting married I'm excited and I know it's worth it but it's hard without being apart of the planning and having my eyes on indoc. It's tough to tell everyone to because it's such a big desicion and I don't have time to prove it right. I'm excited and happy and know I need and love Callie and that's what matters anyway.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

I think ill blog again

I can't believe I blogged for 2 years it was so much fun, it showed me how much I've grown, tomorrow is indoc eval day so indoc has it's stress, I need God and I need to crush it. Callie and I are starting to plan our wedding and everything and letting people know which is hard to do because then I get everyone's commentary. So anyway long story short today's been tough but no worries you conquer it and complete it. I'm excited and scared to complete and crush indoc, I hope I do well and the cadre respect
Me when I graduate, I wish I was more cocky and this was easier for me but I'm not and it isn't. I'll do well through indoc I'll make it I know I will, I'm excited and just need to enjoy and embrace it. I miss Callie and hate growing distant from her, I love to baby her and give her everything she wants I really like making her happy. Home was nice but now I'm finally living outside my comfort zone everyday and life is much different outside your comfort zone, it teaches you way more outside your comfort zone. I've changed so much getting into the military it was the right desicion and God is truly carrying me through and guiding my life the right way. Everyday I will give my thanks to him. His love endures forever